Today, I paid the $119/year price to keep this site alive. Which is important, as it contains my work: my art, my writing, my game stuff. Things that I make, and would like people to see. But I do have this problem: I do not post on it enough. And I should, because it’s expensive to own it! So maybe I should change that?
I’ve been going through some old uploaded photos and music for posts that have long since been deleted (roughly from 2010-2014), thinking about how I used to use this. I would post whatever old bullshit on here. Music reviews, short impressions of whatever games I was playing at the time, lewd photos of me, stories I had written, things I had made, and eventually, gamedev diaries for an unreleased project. I divided my time between this, and my Tumblr, where I would shitpost endlessly. Then that whole “Gamergate” thing happened, and something snapped in my mind, causing me to spend these past few years yelling at nazis, then yelling at a bunch of games people who are probably cool, but thought were assholes because I got suckered by con artists and centrist racists trying to make a quick buck off other peoples’ suffering. Then shit changed. If I did post here, it was some angry screed about GG/Indie Games stuff that pissed me off. Or how something transphobic happened and I wasn’t cool with it. It wasn’t fun anymore. And that sucks, because you should have fun with something like this. You’re not restricted by a character limit, or because you posted something pornographic, or because you told a bigot to fall into a toilet after they threatened to come to your house and murder you while posting your address. Like, check this out:
Bam, two anime dudes getting gangbanged. I’m not going to get kicked off my own website for twelve hours for posting it, or getting it deleted and my avatar turned into a mess of pixels, or anything stupid like that. What manga is this from? Fuck dude, I wish I knew! But that’s the kind of freedom I have. Not much of a point to me posting it, either, other than “I can.” And that’s fun! It’s fun to make a post like this, and probably fun for you to read. You come here to see what I’m thinking about, and then you get an eyeful of hot anime boys sucking some dicks. Think I’ll post a song, too. Hold on.
There’s no real point to this post. Other than to make one, and to remind myself that this doesn’t have to be a hole for me to scream into, like it has been for so long. I’m trying to let go of that old anger as much as I can. It fucking sucks being mad all the time, and it’s even worse to realize that you were mad at the wrong people for the wrong reasons. This is my digital home. I’m the boss here, with no right-wing douchebag to tell me what to post (I mean, okay, I have a webhost provider, but I doubt they’ll suddenly drop me after being a paying customer for over a decade), or anyone to leave me to get annoyed to death by harassment. And that’s good!
Anyways here’s another spicy pic I found in the media archive:
Think I’ll post about video games next time. Spring is coming up, and that’s when I like to fire up the PS3 and play a specific set of games. Maybe I’ll learn to hack the thing and play whatever I want on it, too.