8/6/2019

I was looking forward to making a happier post this time. I completed two major projects, and I took the weekend off to try and recharge. And it was a good time; played a lot of games, watched a lot of movies, listened to a lot of music, recorded a new podcast episode. I had a good weekend.

But then Monday happened.

You probably saw the news: yet another mass shooting by someone who posted yet another manifesto on 8chan. More public pressure put onto Cloudflare, a service that basically protects sites like 8chan and Kiwi Farms from any consequences of the harm they do, to drop 8chan once and for all. And surprisingly, they did. Probably because they’re about to go public in September, and being connected to horrible massacres doesn’t exactly lead to success on the stock market. Cool. Great. Awesome. Anything that makes it harder for white supremacists to recruit people into their ranks is a good thing.

No, that’s all well and good. The problem I have lies with all of the people hot dogging and grandstanding over its demise, despite harrassing the people who accurately predicted the kind of shit that would happen if places like this kept going unchecked, calling them “fake allies,” “performative activists,” “pedophiles,” and all sorts of other heinous shit designed to minimize any work they were trying to do to de-platform the alt-right. The same people who literally screamed as loud as they could for people to “stop talking about Gamergate” and to “pay attention to the real issues” while trans women’s home addresses appeared on the site every other day, and while Milo Yiannopoulos was publicly complaining that his upcoming hitpiece on Sarah Nyberg had been delayed yet again because the legal team told him that it somehow managed to be too libelous for Breitbart are coming out with their hot takes that “Gamergate never ended” and “I told you so!”

And then there’s this:

This was the final straw for me. Randi Harper, the very same Randi Harper who went running, tears in her eyes and her tail between her legs, to places like r/kotakuinaction and Kiwi Farms, getting myself and several other people (mostly trans) doxxed, harassed, and stalked for years because we exposed her massive transphobia. Her support of people sending us death threats. Her “anti-nazi” blocklist that actually targets every trans woman on Twitter. Randi Harper and Wil Wheaton teamed up to make social media even more of a cesspool for the marginalized. And when there was pushback, she went to a group of school shooters to get everyone off her back. And now she wants to act like nothing ever happened.

I know that there are a lot of people out there who don’t like me. I know that you think I’m an asshole, a scumbag, a no-good piece of shit, or some other synonym I’m using to pad out this sentence. And you’re probably right on that. But I am not a liar.

I have no reason to lie. I have nothing to gain, but everything to lose by doing so, because the truth will always come out in the end. Have I been misled in the past? Absolutely! But I do not lie.

I am beyond sick and tired of being told my life, and my experiences, never actually happened. I have gone just about my entire life being called a liar. I was “lying” about Randi Harper. I was “lying” when it came to light that Zoe Quinn fucked over everyone involved with Crash Override. I was “lying” when I reported the abuse I went through as a child to my school counselor. I’m “lying” about everything. This fucking bullshit gaslighting to try and fail to convince me that the things me and several friends went through was all a big crock of shit; an invention of my own imagination. So many people with a fear of heights on top of the proverbial mountain will go to great lengths to tell you that we’re all liars. There are people who lead chapters of the DSA that will spread this misinformation.

Being told time and time again that this

never happened

all a bunch

of bullshit

figment of my imagination

all to take down the real victims of Gamergate in a fit of jealousy

lying about everything

telling tall tales to get myself over, brother

my only motivation!

No other reason!

Being involved with “anti-Gamergate” was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made in my fucking life. Unless your name is Alex, Sarah, or Allison, you were not worth the effort. You were not worth all the people who put their reputations and their literal safety at risk to support your selfish, ungrateful, transphobic asses. Not Randi Harper. Not Zoe Quinn. Not Brianna Wu. Not Leigh Alexander. Not a single one of you are worth the shit from a dog’s ass. So many people tried to do the right thing, because Fuck Nazis, and in the end, got demonized and cast out of their respective communities while you all got rewarded for it. I wish I had access to a time machine, so I can go back to August 2014, slap my past self in the face, tell that dumb motherfucker to keep your head down and mouth shut, and keep working on that King’s Field project. It’s not worth the headache, and to get dragged into petty slapfights with people I’ll never meet, and be looked at as a pariah because I felt bad for a shitty woman who makes terrible games and has even worse taste in men. Without trans women to do the work for her, it’s pretty obvious that she has no talent. I mean, why else did you only buy one issue of Goddess Mode?

Am I mad? Yeah. Am I bitter? You better fucking believe it, pal! A bunch of fucking con artists and grifters picked a fight with neo-nazis to further their brands, and when they got what they wanted, they told the rest of us to fuck off, and fend for ourselves when the alt-right came knocking on our doors. So many good people were unfairly harmed by this, and the world is on fire, too. Great job, everyone!

And to all you fucking jackoffs coming out of the woodwork thinking it’s okay to talk about 8chan and Gamergate in 2019, like you pieces of shit didn’t harass my friends nearly to death for doing the same thing at a time when that shit could have been shut down without a bunch of massacres having to occur first: if you don’t bring up all the trans people who got hurt from all this shit, and instead focusing on the cis grifters, guess what? Your Medium thinkpiece is bad, and you should feel bad.

Or maybe just take your own fucking advice

But I guess it’s a “real issue” now because “real” people are dead, and not those gross trannies making a joke out of your gender roles, right?

Fuck off. Leave me alone. I have one month left until I’ve finally reached a full year of sobriety, and I don’t need this bullshit to test my resolve.