1/8/2025 | Adventures On The Lonely Frontier

I’m very frustrated right now. I have been for well over a year. That frustration is the main reason why I haven’t been doing as much lately; why writing and drawing has been so hard for me. Let me begin by talking about something that happened yesterday:

I needed to find some information. Nothing major, just some stuff about an old Playstation game. For what was well over an hour, I searched. Used multiple terms, multiple search engines, even tried going to YouTube. I could not find what I was looking for. I managed to find plenty of sketchy links to PDFs about various medical conditions written in Arabic. I managed to find various “gaming” sites with either plagiarized reviews or an AI generated synopsis of the game. But I could not for the life of me find out the one thing I was looking for: how do you refill your Photons in the 1999 Namco PSX game, Star Ixiom? If you know, by all means, let me know in the comments.

I got angry. I let out a yell, and went to bed. My day was over. Search engines don’t fucking work anymore. They don’t work anymore because nothing works anymore. Everything fucking sucks. I’m not mad at the fact that I couldn’t find out some info on an old video game, I’m mad because this is how things are now.

The internet is dead. Actually well and truly dead. What we experience today is being uploaded and downloaded to a bloated, desiccated corpse. Can’t find information. Nonsensical images and text “created” by a machine have replaced the web pages of the past. Hell, even the Internet Archive got taken down for an extended period of time. Everyone is so hell-bent on getting you to sign up for yet another panopticon that’s sprung up in the wake of tech companies wanting a slice of the Stormfront 2.0 pie that X Dot Com The Everything App baked and left on the window sill. The Internet that I grew up with: one that helped me grow as a person, that taught me new ways of thinking, that taught me skills that I use in my day-to-day life, that made me an artist, is gone. In its place is Mark Zuckerberg spending billions of dollars to ensure that guys named xXhitler_cunny420Xx can call you the n-word free of consequence. Spreading misinformation to keep us uninformed. Let a machine algorithm tell you what to think. Tell you what to feel. Tell you who to hate. Let another machine defecate terrible songs for you to listen to, or sluggish, awkwardly animated “movies” for you to watch. If you’re really in the mood, it can even create pornography: the woman of your dreams, with nine fingers, two kneecaps on one leg, and an extra eye where her ear should be. I mean, hey, at least it’s better than giving money to some entitled whore on OnlyFans, right? Women Are Over, fellas. And at the very least, with all of this algorithmic Content, you never have to worry about it being Woke.

Culture is dead. I mentioned this in my 2024 post, but it still bothers me to no end that the only thing anyone gives a fuck about when new media or new art gets released is whether or not it’s Woke. This revival of a fake culture war started by rich Republicans pretending to hate other has led to every game, every movie, every album, every TV show, all boil down to the same thing: Is It Woke? Articles, videos, social media posts, all about a perceived value of Wokeness. Will it trigger the libs? Will it own the chuds? Will you placing the latest focus-tested, AAA dogshit into your XBox cause a guy on YouTube with a name like “The Fuck Nut Gamer” to go into conniptions before his head explodes like a Fist of the North Star villain? Will pirating cynically produced Otaku bait that, in its native Japan, sold like dog shit in an ice cream store cause some blue-haired SJW with Capital-P Pronouns to scream and cry into the night? Is It Woke? Is It Based? Is It Woke? Is It Based? Who cares about looking at art on its own merits anymore!? I have a meaningless cultural victory to attain! “It’s not that deep, bro!” Holy fucking shit, the level of idiocy in that statement. It’s Not That Deep. Don’t bother fucking thinking anymore! Don’t bother feeling anything anymore! Having any genuine feelings is for the weak! Everyone is crueler than they used to be. The world has hastened its decent into fascism, and everyone seems to want a front-row ticket. They already spend eight bucks a month to pay for one.

Frustrated by all of this. The state of everything is why I’ve been having such a hard time producing work on a regular basis. It’s why I don’t update for weeks at a time. What is the point of me even keeping this site up? Am I simply wasting everyone’s time, including my own, by not just changing my format to something like SEVEN SAMURAI 20XX FOR THE PLAYSTATION 2: IS IT WOKE????????? Maybe I can embed Mark Kern’s X Dot Com account on my sidebar, but of course, I’ll be shaking my head the entire time so you know I totally don’t agree with it. One of the reasons I post on here and pay money to keep it online every year is to remind people that we can still be individuals, each capable of our own thoughts, feelings, and forms of expression. But for well over a year now, it’s felt like the equivalent of trying to rob a bank with a water gun. Would I be happier if I hit myself in the head and posted about Harry Potter, the IDF, and Monday Night Raw like every other idiot? That sounds miserable, but so does watching the slow death of everything I love.

Basically, I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m bitter. I hate everything and trust nobody. It doesn’t feel like things will improve, given everything I have just said, plus a whole bunch of other geopolitical shit I didn’t say because that shit’s even more depressing. I am a miserable human being that doesn’t feel like doing anything because it doesn’t feel like it matters. Maybe that mindset will change soon, but uh, not today.

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